I'll help you make your first million

Today, just a few minutes ago, I logged on to the net, fired up my browser and headed straight to www.yahoo.com to check my mail. I entered in my user id, my password, clicked on the "Login" button and waited with a big smile on my face.

I always have a big smile on my face whenever I go to check my mail. For as long as I can remember now, I always receive, at the very minimum, at least two messages per day. (Okay, Okay, so I'll admit it. One out of those two is junk mail. There. Happy now? No? All right, all right, I'll come clean. BOTH of them are junk mails. NOW are you happy?)

No, seriously, I always receive a few messages per day. So everyday when I check my mail, I get a kick. But today must be my unlucky day. Because today when I logged in, I saw the words that can chill the hearts of even the most seasoned internet surfers. I saw the dreaded words "You have no new messages".

And that, for some reason, made me sad and depressed. Why wasn't someone mailing me?

Now there are three things that you must know about me:
1) I am very creative.
2) When I am depressed, I am even more creative.
3) I never have enough money.

Now because I was depressed, I had a really creative idea: Why don't I combine the fact that I'm creative and out of money and think up a creative way to make me rich?

That's when I decided to form my own internet company. We all know that Internet company owners are millionaires, and I decided to get into the act as well. My idea is to launch a free web based email service.

What is that I hear you say? There are already too many free email service providers? But hey, wait a sec, let me finish. I've got an idea that will beat the hell out of Yahoo! Mail, Hotmail and Netaddress. Combined. My idea is that whenever you login, my site will automatically pull in a random email from the web and put it in your inbox. That way, not only will you get a perverse pleasure out of reading someone else's mail, but even more importantly, you will never have to see the dreaded words "You have no new messages". Every time you login, you will always have one email. Guaranteed.

This will put a worldwide end to depression as we know it. My site will make people all over the world happy and smiling, it will clear the clouds and bring out the sunshine, help find a cure for cancer, and bring about lasting peace between India and Pakistan.

Now isn't that a great idea? I mentioned this idea to my friend Bill at Microsoft and he was very interested. He started talking something about somethings called "merger" and "making you rich". But I modestly brushed him aside.

I've even thought up a name for my as-of-yet-to-be-launched company: NoMoreNoMailsDotCom

There's just one slight hitch: point number three, or the fact that I have no money. Like all fledging companies, my brilliant idea needs venture capital to get it up and running on its feet. This is where you come in. I want you to donate money to my noble cause and I want you to pass this message on to your friends asking them to donate money to my noble cause.

Please put crisp 500 rupee notes in a white envelope and post it to:

NoMoreNoMailsDotCom,
P.O Box 420420, Pune, India.

I will be keeping track of all those of you who donate money and will reward you with stocks in my as-of-yet-to-be-launched company.

And once news of this amazing idea hits the press, the share prices will instantly rocket up to new stratospheric heights.

I PROMISE I'LL MAKE EVERY ONE OF YOU RICH