Can martitians ever be sexy?

Yesterday, a friend (we'll call him X) and I were arguing as to whether women are attracted to men with a sense of humor. I was against, he was for. His exact words, and I'm quoting him here, were: "I believe that women are attracted to men with a sense of humor".

Personally, I think that X is crazy. That's because I have a great sense of humor, yet no women has ever been attracted to me in the past ninteen and a half years.

But women ARE attracted to men with humor. It's just that the meaning of the words "man with a sense of humor" differs for women and men. To men, the words mean "someone who can be funny". Like me. To women, the words mean "someone who looks, walks, and talks like Tom Cruise". Like me.

Oh, what a tangled web we weave.

I read an article in Cosmopolitan (allright, allright, I'll admit it. I read Cosmopolitan) recently. It stated that women find "personal stories with longer narratives" humorous. It didn't out and out mention "Tom Cruise", but it didn't have to. Funny men like me are adept at reading between the lines.

So what does this mean for you X, who seeks to "impress women in everyday conversation"?

Well, step one is to get hold of a joke. Step two is to somehow put in the magic words "I cry everyday" in the joke. That's because women love "sensitive" men. Like me.

Heres an example of such a joke:

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Tom
Tom who?
Tom "I cry everyday" Cruise.

Believe you me, buddy X, all the women you know will find this joke funny.

Of course, it will also help a lot if you underwent plastic surgery to make you look more like Tom Cruise. Once you start looking like Tom, every women you meet will look at you longingly and will reach out to hold your hand.

And please spare a thought for me. I'm too poor to afford plastic surgery.

AND I'M NOT EVEN FUNNY