We don't need no education

We don't need no "e-d-u-c-a-t-i-o-n"
We don't need no "t-h-o-u-g-h-t c-o-n-t-r-o-l"
No dark sarcasm in the classroom
So TEACHERS! Leave us kids ALONE!
All in all you're just another "b-r-i-c-k" in the wall

No, just in case you are wondering, the immortal words listed above are not mine. They belong to Pink Floyd's massive hit album "School suckez!". Um no, actually, that was not the name of the album. I forget what the name is, but the point is that this is my favorite song. I keep on humming it again and again. Its obsessive. Especially during exam time. During exam time, these words really shine out. I simply can't get them out of my head, my mind, my system. I am a slave to this song.

In fact, such is the control that these words exert over me, that I even put them in my Electronics paper yesterday. The question asked was "Design a BCD to EX-3 convertor using minimum number of Nand gates". I wrote: "Answer: So TEACHERS! Leave us kids ALONE!".

Some of you might be shocked. Some of you might find this disgusting. Some of you might be worried about the state of my mental health. Some of you might say "But Mustafa, how then will you pass?". To that some of you I say: Hey relax. It's no big deal. I'll pass. Because my teachers don't know how to read anyway.

Yes, its true. Because my teachers don't know how to read anyway.

I first became aware of this amazing fact when I was about to enter engineering. I wanted to check out the various colleges, and so I came across my current college, College X (Note: All names changed on request). So I go to meet the principal. He had a nice huge office with blue carpeting. Patterned after the Oval Office in the White House. (The receptionist even looked a little like Monica Lewinsky. I swear)

The principal was an impressive looking intellectual sort of type. What enhanced his stature was the book he was holding in his hands: Dostoevsky's "The Brothers Karamazov". I was impressed. Here is a college that values learning, I thought. Here is a college truly worthy of me, I thought. Until I looked closer and found out that he was reading the book upside down.

Yes, upside down. Now most of you would never have joined such a college. But most of you are fools anyway. I saw this scene for its true worth: This man was so clever that reading the book straight was of no challenge to him. Hey, any fool can read straight. What's the fun in that? It needs true intellectual ability however, to make sense of a book when reading it upside down.

But then I looked a little closer and found out that he was not reading the book upside down as well. No sir. He wasn't. What he was doing, was that he was actually reading the scientific publication "Playboy", and just using the book "The Brothers Karamazov" to hide that fact. Even the Playboy magazine was kept upside down though. Maybe he just prefers the 69 position, who knows?

That's when I decided to back out. No way was I going to study here. Unfortunately, my grades in high school were not very high, so I was forced to join this college. No other educational institution would accept me. Its not as bad as it sounds: I mean, look at the bigger picture --- you can write anything you want and still pass. Because my teachers don't know how to read anyway.

So the point and purpose of this rant is, to inform you to become familiar with the Principal's reading habits before joining a college. Because you don't want to land up in a college where the Principals read Playboys.

OR DO YOU?