I'm pissed off

Lets face it: I'm mad about movies.

I eat, breath and sleep movies. I love em all. Even the flop ones. In fact, I love the b-graded movies more than the top rated ones. ;-)

Well anyway, on Friday night Zee MGM were supposed to show Silence of the Lambs. Yes that's right, Silence of the Lambs. The only picture to have won all the four main Oscars: Best Picture, Best Director, Best Actor (Sir Anthony Hopkins), Best Actress (Judie Foster).

Okay. Zee MGM at 9:00 pm. I cancel all my plans, all my dates. On a freaking FRIDAY NIGHT (of course the fact that I didn't have any made them sort of easy to cancel).

Hurdle one: My mom. She wants to watch some soap on Zee or Star or Sony or something. I can never figure out how she manages to keep track of the various stories in the various serials that she watches. Whoa, wait a sec. She don't have to keep no track. Why? Because all (and I mean ALL) the stupid serials have the same story. Husband, wife and the third one (male or female, depending upon the husband's tastes). And oh yes, add in a wicked mother-in-law for more fun. All of the serials she watches have this same plot. It's a sheer miracle that she hasn't died of boredom yet. And I almost forgot to mention. All of them feature either Renuka Sahne or Neena Gupta. Each and every freaking single one of them.

Anyway, I went to our terrace and said that I'd jump off unless I got to watch my movie. My mom actually seemed happy at that idea, but then relented and gave me the remote.

So I arm myself with a plate of pouha that my mom made (I'm too cheap to buy chips) and switch on the TV.

Do I get to watch Silence of the Lambs? Ha ha ha. I would be so lucky. No sir, no sir. The head honcho at Zee, in all his intelligence, decided to broadcast the Tehelka tapes.

That's okay. I don't mind.

But you know what the idiot did? He decided to broadcast the tapes on all of the four channels run by Zee: Zee TV, Zee Cinema, Zee MGM and Zee English. Simultaneously.

I ask you, I ask you, have you ever seen a more bigger example of sheer stupidity?

I mean what's the freaking point? Show it on Zee TV, and if anyone wants to watch it, he can change channels. What's the need to shove it down the viewers throats? I mean hell, I didn't watch the tapes simply because they were on Zee MGM. No sir. I smashed my TV set in anger, and then went off to sleep, thinking about Hannibal the Cannibal.

I mean really, Tehelka? The only point of those tapes were to show that people are corrupt. As if we didn't know that already. Hell this is India buddy, everyone is corrupt. Even YOU.

One video. Four channels. SIMULTANEOUSLY.

Someone should set Dr. Hannibal Lector loose on those guys at Zee.

NOW THAT WOULD MAKE ONE HELL OF A GREAT VIDEO