The perfect antidote to Viagra

The Bible says go forth and populate. The Government of India says go forth and watch TV.

In another display of immense stupidity, the Indian Government aptly demonstrated why it is the laughing stock of the world. In an effort to reduce population, it's latest policy is to "distract the masses at night by giving them cheap television sets".

Times of India, August 30, 2001. Front page, bottom column.

"Worried that the darkness of the night may be encouraging a baby boom, the government could be considering a move to distract the masses at night by giving them cheap television sets".

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. At times like these, I almost envy our neighbors, the Pakistanis. Sure, their country is a hell hole, sure, there's no democracy, sure, anyone with a gun can aspire to rule, sure, Muslim fundamentalists are mostly idiots, but all said and done, at least no one is giving them free fucking television sets.

How could any sane man even consider such a laughably idiotic idea? How could such an absurdity be allowed to penetrate the hollowed portals of our parliament? Since when did "absence of a functional brain" become a necessary criteria to be elected into the Lok Sabha (along with presence of a criminal record and birth in a foreign nation)?

Free television sets? Lets assume that people are screwing right and left. Once they get hold of TV's and our masses start viewing Baywatch and MTV Grind, they'll be screwing right AND left AND top AND bottom. Bye bye population control, bye bye economic growth, hello wasteland.

Distribute free condoms idiots, distribute free condoms. Sanjay Gandhi, for all his faults had the right idea. He realized that most people are stupid, and forcible sterilization is the way to go. His death was untimely, for given a free hand, he surely would have bought down India's population to zero.

But even he was too liberal if you ask me. There's only one permanent solution to the population crisis: nuke the whole bloody country. Kill em all.

What about ethics you say? Well, while I don't know whether mass murder can be considered ethical or not, I do know one thing:

DEAD MEN DON'T FUCK